Luvin’ This Life

Ah, I have been on hiatus for a while now! 

After moving to our new home here in Texas, I have found one thing after another to take up too much of my time!  Some of it silly stuff, some of it necessary stuff, but all of it time consuming! 

Since settling in here last October, I have found more and more to be thankful for.  From our new house, to new friends, to new hobbies… We have been blessed beyond measure! 

I have taken up gardening… I do hope my black thumb turns green.  I planted a flower bed and a veggie garden.  So far the bushes and flowers seem to thrive.  The garden is still dirt and seed except for the tomato plants that are quite pretty nestled in their climbing cages.

We have adopted a new kitty.  Saving her from the shelter here was the greatest anniversary gift Brett could have gotten me!  She is such an incredible addition to our family, and of all the kitties I have had, she is the first lap cat.  LOL  Too bad she’s not allowed on the furniture!  The only time she gets to sit on laps is if we are by the computer, or sitting on the floor.  Poor kitty… lol  But she LOVES to play with Stephen, and Stephen takes great care of her!

We have reunited with old friends, and made so many new friends that we are actually finding it hard to keep up!  On our street alone we have birthday parties and barbq’s every weekend!  We have already decided that for Stephen’s birthday this year, we won’t be getting him anything since all our neighbors seem to LOVE to gift all the kids!   I do have to say though, I am getting just a little bit bored with hotdogs!  haha!

Then there is my health.  Wow!  I still have some really bad days, and they seem to clump themselves together.  But overall… I feel SO much better!  I have been able to be more consistent with my work-out routines.  I am having fewer migraines, fewer stroke-like episodes, fewer can’t get out of bed days… and I am much less stressed out because of it! 

For now.. that catches you up with the past 6 months. 

I have to say… This period in our life is one that I am making sure to take time to thank God for.  We are on that mountain… I know we won’t always be up here, and I know I need to cling to the memories of this for the future… But one thing is for sure, God continues to amaze and humble me!

Homeschooling: Decide for yourself

Brett and I decided even before our son was born that we would like to either put him in private school or homeschool.  We did not decide this on a whim.  We decided this after having friends that were homeschooled or private schooled, knowing moms that ARE homeschooling, and after watching the public school system across the country fall into chaos and ruin.  (NOT saying that there are no more good schools out there, because I KNOW that there are.  However, being in the military, there is NO guarantee that we will be near any of them!)  Recently, there has been a lot of debate and ridicule brought up to me over our decision.  I refuse to stoop to name calling, and I refuse to allow my talents as a mother and homeschooler be called into question.  However, I would like to share some resources that others may not be aware of, and that may help other parents decide more accurately what might be best for their own children.

Numbers of Homeschoolers and Reasons to Homeschool:

About 1.1 million students (1,096,000) were being homeschooled in the United States in the spring of 2003.  Thirty-one percent of homeschoolers had parents who said the most important reason for homeschooling was concern about the environment of other schools.  Thirty percent said the most important reason was to provide religious or moral instruction. The next reason was given about half as often; 16 percent of homeschooled students had parents who said dissatisfaction with the academic instruction available at other schools was their most important reason for homeschooling.  (http://nces.ed.gov/nhes/homeschool/)

Myths about homeschooling:

It costs more:  False-”The household income of homeschoolers in 1999 was no different than non-home-schoolers. However, parents of homeschoolers had higher levels of educational attainment than did parents of non-homeschoolers.”(http://wiki.answers.com/Q/What_are_homeschool_statistics_for_the_US)

No social skills: False-”In July 2000, the Discovery Institute, a Seattle-based think-tank, published an extensive report on home-schooling written by Senior Fellow Dr. Patricia Lines. She describes several controlled studies comparing the social skills of homeschoolers and non-homeschoolers.  The homeschoolers scored as “well adjusted.” In one study, trained counselors viewed videotapes of mixed groups of homeschooled and schooled children at play. The counselors didn’t know the school status of each child. The results? The homeschooled kids demonstrated fewer behavioral problems. Dr. Lines’ conclusion? “There is no basis to question the social development of home-schooled children.”(http://school.familyeducation.com/home-schooling/human-relations/56224.html)

Homeschoolers don’t get into or have difficulty in college: False-”In a study that categorized college students as either home, public or private schooled, and examined their aptitude for achievement in college English, Galloway and Sutton (1995) found that homeschooled students demonstrated similar academic preparedness for college and similar academic achievement in college as students who had attended conventional schools. In a similar vein, Oliveira, Watson and Sutton (1994) found that home-educated college students had a slightly higher overall mean critical thinking score than did students from public schools, Christian schools, and ACE [private] schools but the differences were not statistically significant. Similarly, Jones and Gloeckner (2004) cited three studies (Gray, 1998; Jenkms, 1998; Mexcur, 1993) as showing the home-educated to be performing as well or better than institutional-school graduates at the college level. Jones and Gloeckner, in their own study, concluded, “The academic performance analyses indicate that home school graduates i are as ready for college as traditional high school graduates and that they perform as well on national college assessment tests as traditional high school graduates”(http://findarticles.com/p/articles/mi_qa3955/is_200410/ai_n9443747/pg_3?tag=artBody;col1and ‘Jones, Paul, & Gloeckner, Gene. (2004, Spring). A study of home school graduates and traditional school graduates. The Journal of College Admission, No. 183, 17-20.’)

Homeschoolers don’t score as well on state tests: False-”ACTs and SATs are the best-known test predictors of success in university or college in America. Both the SAT and ACT publishers have reported for several years that the scores of the home-schooled are higher, on average, than those from public schools. For example, for the 1999-2000 school year, the home-educated scored an average of 568 in verbal while the state-school (i.e., public-school) average was 501, and 532 in math while the state-school average was 510.” (http://findarticles.com/p/articles/mi_qa3955/is_200410/ai_n9443747/pg_3?tag=artBody;col1)

Homeschoolers are less successful as adults: False-Adults in college now and getting into the job market are just as likely as, if not MORE likely to be successful in college, in their jobs, and in their communities.(http://www.foxnews.com/story/0,2933,49573,00.html,  http://www.hslda.org/research/ray2003/Beyond.asp)

Homeschool curriculum is not accredited forcing a homeschool graduate to take the GED: False-”While most accredited homeschooling programs are not difficult for most children, the homeschooling program can be made into whatever the parent would like it to be. They can add to the program as they deem is necessary to improve upon it.”(http://ezinearticles.com/?Why-Go-For-The-Accredited-HomeSchool-Diplomas?&id=195977) In addition, everyone who ‘needed’ a GED in the past because the college of their choice refused to accept their school credits, never needed that GED to begin with, and not it is official! “Colleges and universities have often—and unnecessarily—insisted that homeschoolers obtain a General Equivalency Diploma (GED) for financial aid. Because this requirement was usually based on the institution’s concerns about federal funding regulations, Home School Legal Defense Association addressed the situation at its root. The Association drafted federal legislation to place homeschool college applicants for admissions and financial aid on the same footing as traditionally schooled applicants” (http://www.hslda.org/docs/news/hslda/200306/200306190.asp)

For questions regarding homeschooling laws and regulations in your state, visit http://www.hslda.org/hs/state/default.asp.

Again, homeschooling, obviously, isn’t for everyone.  However, if you are thinking about it, or have wondered about it, there are many many resources online, within the public school districts, and within your state that can tell you more, so you can decide what is best for your child.  There are also online forums, support groups, and organizations that will help you get your child involved if you are already homeschooling and having difficulty finding avenues out of the house!

EVERY minute we spend with our child is a learning experience!  We have begun ‘homeschooling’ from the moment we held that baby in our arms.  If we choose to continue that through their childhood, no one should be able to tell us we are wrong or are hurting our child.

Illegal Immigration

Illegal immigration is and has been reducing our economy in no amount of time!  Construction and other companies all across the country hire ‘day-workers’ for below minimum wage so they can under-bid other  companies.  (I know this first-hand because my brother-in-law, who OWNED his own company, was forced into bankruptcy because he couldn’t afford to bid as low as some of the other companies who used illegal aliens from Cuba and Honduras)  Illegal aliens tend to cram as many people into one dwelling as they can.  They collectively go to work for minimum wage (those jobs that supposedly no American wants… sigh) or for below minimum wage, pool their money to buy food and pay rent, and send the rest back to where-ever they came from.  Illegal immigrants come into our country, use our resources, demand that we speak THEIR language, demand that we respect THEIR culture (which they struggled so hard to break away from to get here… hmm), and yet they put nothing back.

Now I am all for cultural diversity.  I am obviously very proud of my own heritage if you have read any of my other posts here.  I strive to learn about other cultures that are not apart of my heritage.  I think being aware and tolerant of other faiths and cultures is what makes the United States such a unique country.  (and by saying tolerant I DO NOT mean that one culture, religion, or creed should hide itself away for fear of offending another, I mean by BOTH cultures learning to live with and respect one another, aka NO POLITICAL CORRECTNESS!)

In the past, immigrants, legal immigrants like my family, came to America to start anew.  They embraced the American way of life.  They learned English as fast as they could.  They became naturalized citizens and pay their taxes.  Ironically, the few times any of those family members have needed assistance from the government to start a business or to make ends meet they have been denied, yet ILLEGAL IMMIGRANTS who have contributed NOTHING into our system are able to apply for small business grants, get free medical care, and even have been known to get INTO our welfare system!!!  Not to mention the amount of money that is spent cleaning after them as they bring their drugs and illnesses into our country.  Not to mention the amount of money invested in trying to make it EASIER for them to become LEGAL citizens, or the amount of money invested in securing our borders against illegal invasion.  (Another reason not to vote for Obama, by the way, since he plans on opening both our borders in an effort to ‘open trade.’)

Here are some links that helped me come to the conclusion that illegal immigration should be foremost in our thoughts with this upcoming election:

http://dontspeakforme.org/principles.html

http://www.uscis.gov/graphics/shared/aboutus/statistics/2000ExecSumm.pdf

http://www.cis.org/topics/illegalimmigration.html

http://www.numbersusa.com/hottopic/100306comm.html

http://www.veteransforsecureborders.us/

http://www.watchdogamerica.com/DestroyingAmerica.html

The following stats and comments were taken from my sister’s blog on illegal immigration from a couple years ago.  She no longer recalls where she found all this information, so some of it can only be confirmed by thorough research, some of it may be out-dated, and some of it has its resource noted:

1. 40% of all workers are working for cash and not paying taxes. This is because they are predominantly illegal immigrants, working without a green card.

2. 95% of warrants for murder in Los Angeles are for illegal aliens.

3. 75% of people on the most wanted list are illegal aliens.

4. Over 2/3 of all births are to illegal alien Mexicans on Medi-Cal, whose births were paid for by taxpayers.

5. Nearly 25% of all inmates in California detention centers are Mexican nationals here illegally.

6. Over 300,000 illegal aliens are living in garages.

7. The FBI reports half of all gang members are most likely illegal aliens from south of the border.

8. Nearly 60% of all occupants of HUD properties are illegal.

9. 21 radio stations in L.A. are Spanish speaking.

10. In L.A. 5.1 million people speak English. 3.9 million speak Spanish (There are 10.2 million people in L.A. County ). Less than 2% of illegal aliens are picking our crops, but 29% are on welfare. Over 70% of the United States’ annual population growth (and over 90% of California, Florida , and New York ) results from immigration. The cost of immigration to the American taxpayer in 1997 was, (after subtracting taxes immigrants pay), a NET $70 BILLION  a year, [Professor Donald Huddle, Rice University ]. The lifetime fiscal impact (taxes paid minus services used) for the average adult Mexican immigrant is a NEGATIVE number. ****29% of inmates in federal prisons are illegal aliens.

THE U.S. VS MEXICO:

On February 15, 1998, the U.S. and Mexican soccer teams met at the Los Angeles Coliseum. The crowd was overwhelmingly pro-Mexican even though most lived in this country. They booed during the National Anthem and U.S. flags were held upside down. As the match progressed, supporters of the U.S. team were insulted, pelted with projectiles, punched and spat upon. Beer and trash were thrown at the U.S. players before and after the match. The coach of the U.S. team, Steve Sampson said, “This was the most painful experience I have ever had in this profession.”

Did you know:

-that immigrants from Mexico and other non-European countries can come to this country and get preferences in jobs, education, and government contracts.   It’s called affirmative action or racial privilege. The Emperor of Japan or the President of Mexico could migrate here and immediately be eligible for special rights unavailable for Americans of European descent.

Corporate America has signed on to the idea that minorities and third world immigrants should get special, privileged status. Some examples are Exxon, Texaco, Merrill Lynch, Boeing, Paine Weber, Starbucks and many more.

-that Mexico regularly intercedes on the side of the defense in criminal cases involving Mexican nationals? Did you know that Mexico has NEVER extradited a Mexican national accused of murder in the U.S. in spite of agreements to do so? According to the L.A. Times, Orange County , California is home to 275 gangs with 17,000 members; 98% of which are Mexican and Asian. How’s your county doing?

-according to a New York Times article dated May 19, 1994, 20 years after the great influx of legal immigrants from Southeast Asia , 30% are still on welfare compared to 8% of households nationwide. A Wall Street Journal editorial dated December 5, 1994 quotes law enforcement officials as stating that Asian mobsters are the “greatest criminal challenge the country faces.” Not bad for a group that is still under 5% of the population.

Is education important to you? Here are the words of a teacher who spent over 20 years in the Los Angeles School system. “Imagine teachers in classes containing 30-40 students of widely varying attention spans and motivation, many of whom aren’t fluent in English. Educators seek learning materials likely to reach the majority of students and that means fewer words and math problems and more pictures and multicultural references.”

WHEN I WAS YOUNG: I remember hearing about the immigrants that came through Ellis Island They wanted to learn English. They wanted to breathe free. They wanted to become Americans.  Now, far too many immigrants come here with demands. They demand to be taught in their own language They demand special privileges–affirmative action. They demand ethnic studies that glorify their culture.

Filling in the gaps of my failure…

Last night, after we were done praying, Stephen asked me why is Jesus special?  I had just gotten finished answering half a dozen other random questions as I was on my way out the door to his room, and as I turned to answer this one, I was forced to pause.

What do you tell a four year old about Jesus besides the plain as day completely superficial story?  Especially when the question is much more than superficial?  How do I know that what I tell him will make sense to him and that he will grasp the true significance of our Savior?

Obviously, trying to be age appropriate, which means breaking it down in a way that he can understand, I tried to explain to him WHY Jesus is special.

Its really hard though, because Stephen doesn’t yet grasp what death is.  He knows and has felt both physical and emotional pain, but his life thus far has been blessed with not having to face the ugly truth of death and dying. (Though I think he sensed it when we had visited my dear Uncle who was indeed on death’s doorstep)  So… When a young child cannot yet fathom what it means to die, how can you get them to understand the significance of life AFTER death, and the MIRACLE that is Christ?

I don’t recall now exactly how I explained Jesus to Stephen.  I was praying silently in my mind as I was phrasing my words, praying the He would direct me in a way that would comfort Stephen rather than frighten him, and in a way that would make Jesus more realistic rather than mythical.

In the end, Stephen seemed satisfied with my little dialogue on Christ.  But as I tucked him in again and left his room, I started thinking about my own Faith.

Stephen has obviously been a huge blessing to me, especially in the area of my Faith.  The first time he told me he wanted to pray, while Brett was deployed, my heart just burst with pride and with guilt.  Pride that this little two year old knew the concept of prayer and a “being” that is bigger than us, yet caring.  Guilt because at that time I WASN’T praying with him at all; not even reading the Bible to him or taking him to church regularly.  Since that first request, Brett and I both make it a point to pray with Stephen at night.  We still don’t go to church regularly, we don’t feel compelled (or ‘led’) to, and we don’t yet read him Scripture, though we do sing him praise and worship songs from time to time.  And yet, Stephen has this incredible concept of God and the ability to talk to Him.

How incredibly humbling!  Watching Him work in Stephen’s little life is just awe inspiring.  I know there are people who have no Faith, or don’t have any relationship with the God they profess to believe in, and I find that incredibly sad, because those people will read this and mock this.  But I see His hand daily!  First I saw His hand while I was growing up, in the relationships I was in with family and friends.  Then I saw His hand in my life’s decisions when the impossible came to happen, and doors opened or closed that never should have based on previous decisions and actions that I thought I had control over.  Again I saw His hand in my relationship with Brett, just when I though I was losing him, we came together inexplicably and completely.  Yet again, when Stephen was born … one thing after another, His hand was evident where no other explanation could be had.  NOW!  Time and again, where I fail so miserably in sharing my Faith with my own child, my God fills in the gaps and brings me back to what is most important in this child’s life.

“Train up a child in the way he should go, and when he is old he will not turn from it.” Proverbs 22v6

“When all these blessings and curses I have set before you come upon you and you take them to heart wherever the LORD your God disperses you among the nations, and when you and your children return to the LORD your God and obey him with all your heart and with all your soul according to everything I command you today, then the LORD your God will restore your fortunes and have compassion on you and gather you again from all the nations where he scattered you.” Deuteronomy 30v1-3

A Word Of Advice

I have several friends, both guys and gals, who are either getting engaged, married, or are prepared to walk away from it (marriage).

I am excited for those who are getting engaged, and getting married, but I am concerned and disturbed by those that are ‘walking away.’

Please don’t misunderstand me, some marriages were mistakes from the beginning, a decision made out of necessity, misconception, or just the innocence of youth.  And there are some marriages that are hurtful and need to be walked away from.  But these friends that are just ‘walking away’ have NO reason other than they ‘lost the spark.”  I am truly disturbed by this statement, and it is a COMMON reason for divorce and separation.  Rather than rant on why this sole reason for a divorce is just WRONG, I though I would instead give some thoughts, advice, and pointers to those that are about to take the plunge! 

1.  Get premarital counseling.  Whether its from the pastor officiating or from a recommended therapist, invest into your engagement, into the past of your relationship, and all the reasons that you want to get married.  This counseling will help you face truths that you may not have had to face and will teach you both how to communicate and work through it.

2.  Don’t marry someone who you can’t be friends with.  There will come days or periods of time when the ‘in-love’ feelings will seem to diminish, during those times you need to be able to fall back on the friendship you share with your spouse.  Not to mention, once you get married and have children and face new changes, you will discover that your spouse will often be your ONLY ally, being friends, being BEST friends makes that alliance much more meaningful.

3.  DO NOT go into a marriage with the thought at the back of you mind that if it doesnt work out, you can always get a divorce.  Though this may be true, partly you are already setting yourself up in the frame of mind to walk away rather than work it through.  Divorce is the easy way out most of the time, but it is hurtful to both parties and can be damning to the children and families involved.

4.  Sex is NOT the sole reason to get married or to walk away.  Great sex is… well GREAT!  But if your relationship is BASED on whether or not you have great sex, what will happen when one or both of you for any reason at all suddenly faces a change in hormones or sex appeal or physical capabilities? 

5.  Marriage is a relationship that requires continual open communication.  This does not mean that you must always share your opinion or always argue your point.  This means that both partners must at least understand what page the other person is on.  You may not always be on the same page when it comes to choices you face as a couple, but those choices must be weighed in their value against the value of your relationship.

6.  Whether you are opposites or alike, there will come times when you each need some space, be respectful of that space without hounding, without nagging.

7.  Determine right away, what your strengths are and what are your spouse’s strengths and work with them!  If one is better with the finances, then let that one deal with the finances (and TRUST them to do it!), while the other one may be better at other household duties.

8.  DO NOT get married just because you got knocked up!  This goes against alot of what I have been taught  and even as far as my Faith, but I say this because so many couples that get married because there is a baby on the way, go into it with the idea that they can still walk away.  Somehow despite the REASON for getting married, they lack to think of that REASON when they walk away.  PLEASE remember there is a child involved who will be more hurt and confused than either of you should a separation or divorce occur.

9.  Do not be afraid to ask for help.  No marriage is perfect, and no amount of love can fix everything.  If you are having difficulties get help!  Seek out someone you BOTH trust and at least get it on the table and start communicating about it!

10.  Marriage is sometimes HARD work!  It can be more demanding then the hardest job.  It can be more exhausting, and more frustrating!  Just remember that nothing worth having is easy to come by.  How long did it take you to find that special someone?  For most people it takes years!  How much time and emotion have you invested in that relationship?  Keep investing in it! 

11.  LISTEN to your heart!  That 6th sense is there for a reason.  If it tells you that this person is the one, then come hell or highwater, stick with that person!  But if there is a glimmer of doubt, take the time to find out why there is that doubt, and if that doubt remains, as hard as it seems in the moment, then walk away.

12.  It IS okay to be alone.  If you are convinced that you should be married because all your friends are, or because its way past when you thought you would be married, sit down and do some self-reflection.  Get comfortable being ALONE.  Get to know yourself before throwing yourself into a relationship that is based on the wrong reasons.

13.  If you are a person of faith, but your spouse is not, or vice-versa, be patient.  DO NOT push your faith on your spouse.  Be open about it, pray for them, share with them why you have that faith, but realize that like most people, the more you push your beliefs the more of a wall you build between you.  JUST because you are married now, does not mean that you will both automatically think alike!

14.  Use common sense… Treat your spouse the way you would like to be treated… However, by this I mean, you should learn to predict thier wants and desires.  This is what you truly want from them.  No one wants their spouse to be identical to them, we want them to complement us, to fill our voids, to strengthen our weaknesses. 

15.  Do not fall into the tit-for-tat routine.  If you do something nice for your spouse, do not expect them to return the favor, especially in a certain way that you have envisioned in your mind.  Falling into the tit-for-tat mindframe may work for some friendships and work relationships, but it will start to wear away at a marriage.  Anything done for the other MUST be done selflessly and with no expectations.. the way true giving should be.

16.  Last of all… LOVE works with trust, respect, patience, discernment, communication, faith, and hope.  A marriage may not always be perfect or ‘happy’, but with these elements it will always be content!

To all my friends, I have not been married long.  I am no expert on marriage, but the above things I KNOW to be true!  My own marriage has flaws of its own, but my husband is my best friend.  I may not always agree with him, I may not always ‘like’ him, and the same from him for me, but we are invested in eachother.  We believe in eachother and respect eachother enough to invest in all manners of ‘work’ to make this relationship continue.  Simply walking away is NOT an option.  Marriage is NOT just another relationship.  This is THE relationship of our lives!  And remember, YOUR frame of mind, YOUR outlook will have incredibly HUGE bearing on how your relationship progresses or lacks to progress.  I wish you all my deepest congratulations if you are getting married soon, and my deepest prayers if you are on the verge of walking away.

A Revelation: Aging Gracefully

Any of the handful of you who ever read those silly surveys that I fill out, may have picked up on the fact that I color my hair because I am quickly going grey.  Well, I USED to color my hair anyway.

I have been coloring my hair since I was a late teen.  First it was adding blonde streaks to add to that sun-kissed look so famous from teens in Florida.  Then when I was in college I started sampling with other colors, deep browns, dark reds, and even tried blonde (though that turned my hair brazen orange mostly!)

Then I cut my hair short just before joining the Air Force, and I discovered that I had a lot more then just a few grey hairs.  Along the sides behind my ears where thick wiry white hairs, some very long, and some just long enough to stick straight up!  So the coloring and the plucking became a regular routine. 

It never crossed my mind that I was playing into the vanity that I have been seduced into believing was simply taking care of myself.  Not until I came to know at least a dozen women who have taken this vanity to whole new levels.  What used to be expensive procedures that only the very well-to-do could afford, is now common place among women everywhere.  Botox, breast enhancements, tummy tucks, tattooed make-up, spa days, and the list goes on and on!  All these ways for women to turn back time, to turn back the effects of child-bearing, or simply of age, and its always hidden behind the outward beliefs that we are doing this to keep our husbands attracted, or to GET someone attracted, or behind the belief that growing old and showing signs of aging is somehow unbecoming.  Not to mention the new idea going around that women (esp stay-at-home moms) MUST take some time for themselves whether it be to shop, or spa, or whatever.  (another thought: since when is giving of myself for my family a BAD thing? and why isnt that ever considered taking time for myself?  Am I to assume that other moms and women find no enjoyment in family affairs?  okay.. where was I?)

But what drives this mentality?  I even work for a company that sells spa products, facials, and cosmetics?  So why did I choose this company when I am starting to feel so strongly against all this superficial vanity?  Partly, because like all women, I LOVE feeling beautiful!  I LOVE looking in the mirror and seeing something that I feel I can be proud of physically.  I LOVE getting compliments from family and friends, and I LOVE the looks I get from my husband.  And THIS particular company is different in that I teach women how to ENHANCE their beauty.  There is nothing about covering it up, there is nothing about making the woman looking in the mirror look like someone completely different.  This is about teaching women to respect themselves, that beauty is from within.  This is about teaching women that ‘me-time’ can be enjoyed at home and within reasonable budgets.  This is about teaching women that proper skin care and healthy habits will enhance the aging process, not to reverse, not even to slow it down.

So anyway, I had a revelation this last weekend.  I was brushing out my hair, which I have been trying to grow out for some time now.  I was straightening it out for a night out.  As I was moving my head from side to side, and brushing it this way and that, I realized that I haven’t colored my hair in over three months!  And as I was just beginning to think about getting another box of color, I looked at my hair, and I wondered where all those greys came from.  What started them to appear?  And why am I really trying to hide them?  The more I thought about it, the more silly I felt. 

By the time I got finished fixing my hair, I realized that I was actually kinda proud of those grey hairs!  Yes, I am only 30 years old, and yes, I have more gray hair them most 40 year old women.  But just like it took me years to get used to my face, to grow to appreciate it for what it is, and not what it might be, it has finally hit me, that my hair is another extension of who I am.  My self-confidence comes from within.  I never wore make-up to make me prettier, though I went through periods where the amount of make-up I wore certainly distracted people from the real me.  So why do I do this to my hair?  I already have no interest in keeping people around me who can’t accept me for who I am on the inside, so why this particular vanity?  And why has it taken me so long to see the truth of it?

So for now at least, I think I will keep my grey and unruly hair.  Let’s see what a couple months of it growing out will reveal.  Let’s see how aging gracefully with my grey hairs, my post-pregnancy boobs, my less then firm abs might feel, rather than trying to hide it and be ashamed of it!

(I am NOT advocating letting myself or yourself fall into a frame of mind that says that there is nothing we can do to improve on our health and our bodies… I AM trying to say that self-confidence should come from within, NOT from the appearance of our face, bodies, or in my case, hair)

My Passion: part two

I wish that my pictures from Monterey, Big Sur, Barbados, Poland, and Germany were on disk.  I think that will be a project for me once we get settled in our new home.  So many of those pictures invoke such strong memories and feelings, that I never get enough of looking through them and sharing them with friends and family who come to visit!

BUT!  I do have plenty of other pictures to share of other places and events that mean just as much to me!  I hope you enjoy them!

This picture was taken at Kualoa Beach Park.  My sister, her friend, and I found our way across to the far side of the park which was much more secluded and private.  There we found this rope swing (that would have pulled the tree over had we tried to use it! lol) and tiny strip of beach, and complete peace and quiet!  I remember looking around the park, and across the water, enjoying the cool breeze that came off the water, and the sounds of the birds in the bushes and trees behind us.  It was a pleasant, lazy day!

This beautiful building is in Seoul, South Korea.  Brett and I found it as we were looking for a particular temple and had gotten lost.  There were no tour guides though this was an obvious tourist spot (as could be determined by the number of people lingering with cameras).  These front doors were closed to the public, but we could hear music and laughter coming from inside.  As we wandered around the building we discovered that there was a wedding ceremony being performed within.  (I did not feel comfortable taking pictures of this special occasion because I didn’t want to unwittingly offend any of the wedding party).  Brett and I both watched for a moment, struck by the beauty of the building, and the beauty and perfect grace of the ceremony being help under it roof!  It was this accidental ‘discovery’ that encouraged us to really explore as much of Seoul as we could within the time that we were there!  What an incredibly beautiful, and rich culture!!!

Tater-tot Casserole

Ingredients:

1 lb ground meat (turkey or beef)                                    frozen tater tots

1 cup shredded cheese                                                    salt, pepper, seasoning (to taste)

1 can tomato sauce                                                         1/2 cup chopped onion

1/2 cup chopped green pepper                                       1/2 cup chopped tomato

1 can chopped mushrooms

Directions:

Preheat oven to 450 degrees.  Grease 9×13 baking dish and set aside.

On stovetop, brown ground meat and drain completely.  Over low heat, season the meat, and add sauce, onions, mushrooms, green peppers, and tomatoes.  Mix completely, and remove from heat.

Pour meat mixture into baking dish, spread it out evenly.

Sprinkle 1/2 of the cheese over the meat mixture.  Spread one layer of tate-tots over the meat.  Sprinkle the rest of the cheese on top.

Bake uncovered for 25-30 minutes, until tater-tots are golden brown.

Non-Military Sentiment Alive and Well on Oahu

This weekend, amidst spending time with my family and a few new friends, I was reminded rather blatantly of why I am so eager to be off this rock.  Don’t get me wrong, Hawaii is beautiful, and I have the pictures to prove it!  I prefer the other islands, but even Oahu with its obesity of population has its beautiful beaches, mountains, and oceans.  But beneath the superficial beauty of the land, lies an ugly monster of hate, ignorance, and predjudice. 

In the three years that I have been here, I can count on one hand the number of Kama’aina (or people who have lived in Hawaii long enough to consider themself local) who have actually shared their “Spirit of Aloha” with my Haole (who is not descended from the aboriginal Polynesian inhabitants of Hawaii, especially white) family.  When we first moved here on military orders, we were so excited!  Having met only a handful of people who have ever visited Hawaii, we were told two things: the culture can be rich and beautiful but the people can be ugly (or rude).  Even in our little welcome briefing we were warned of the anti-military sentiments and racial tensions in certain areas on Oahu.  I have witnessed it in conversation, I have read it in the mommies forum that I am part of, and I have seen it first-hand. 

In my mind, its one thing to curse the Haole.  I can sometimes empathize (because of my own Heritage) with the Hawaiians who are struggling to keep their culture pure and alive, especially when true Hawaiian blood is becoming more and more watered down.  I DO NOT understand the blatant blinders put in place that allow SOME of these same Hawaiians to protest and bash our military.  I have talked with other military members and their families and they too have either witnessed this outright HATE or have been victim to it.  Very few of these incidents make the news, that would be bad for tourism, which is already hurting in today’s economy.  But I know of at least two young servicemen who were singled out while walking around Waikiki and attacked by groups of young Hawaiian men.  Thankfully, neither man was hurt severely, having been helped by .. get this… TOURISTS.  But one married military couple was not so lucky. (http://the.honoluluadvertiser.com/article/2007/Feb/27/ln/FP702270352.html) And the worst crime about their attack was that the local government put a spin on it so that the attackers could claim road rage even in view of what witnesses had stated!

But this weekend, as we were leaving Bellows AB, we were met by this:

About 100 protesters stood outside Bellows.  Most were calm and simply stood their holding up signs saying they want the military to leave Hawaii.  Others were crude, shouting curses and making rude gestures to those of us leaving the base.  Our Freedom of Speech allows them this protest, regardless of its base in ignorance.

Now, I have debated with young Locals about the impact of the military in their beloved islands.  The biggest argument they come up with is that the military has hurt thier land environmentally.  Okay, so I can agree with that.  Of course, the bases here will impact the environment.  But so do the sky high condos, the thousands of cars that drive in circles around the island, and the cruise ships, tankers, and shipping vessels that support their way of life.  Another argument they pose is how the bases that have been shut down (Barber’s Point) have left behind so much trash (buildings, slabs, etc), but fail to admit that most of the communities around this island are pretty trashed up as well and nevermind that the military is ACTIVELY working to clean up after itself, and has turned much of its abandoned housing over to private companies for affordable housing to the Hawaiian populace.  And if I bring up any of the following, regarding jobs and the local economy, they blatantly ignore it!  But I will rehash all that for you all. 

” ‘Hawaii ranked fourteenth in the nation in 2006 for the number of active-duty Army recruits per 1,000 youth ages 15 through 24, according to an Army report requested by the National Priorities Project (NPP). The report also ranked Honolulu number 22 out of the top 100 U.S. counties for the number of active-duty Army recruits in 2006.

Combined with the 116,000 retired military personnel living in Hawaii, the military-connected population totals 217,030 (17 percent of Hawaii’s total population). The 2000 U.S. Census found that Hawaii has the largest percentage of its population in the military among the states.’ ”  (http://counterrecruiter.wordpress.com/2007/09/07/hawaii-aggressive-military-recruitment-presence-meets-resistance/)

 The amount of money paid to DOD civilians in 2006 alone: $665,408; the amount of money SPENT in Hawaii by the military in 2006 alone: $ 1,863,310;   (http://www.nationalpriorities.org/nppdatabase_tool)

The military presence in Hawaii produced 18,337 jobs in 2006. (http://cochawaii.com/_library/documents/new-pdfs/imp%20mil%202008.pdf)

So while these protesters have thier Freedom of Speech, and the hatred that is spouted against the military presence here is protected by the local government, I have my experiences and my pictures to remind me that Paradise, like beauty, is only on the surface.

(and if you are thinking about traveling to Hawaii, PLEASE do not waste your time and money on Oahu.  Spend the little bit extra and visit Hawaii (the Big Island), or Kauai (the Garden Isle), or Maui.  I promise you your travels will be better there, and the natural beauty supplemented by friendlier locals!)

I have loved living here strictly because God’s creation cannot be denied!  These islands are beautiful!  But I leave here knowing that I will never be back.  I leave here knowing that everything I learned about this culture I learned on my own, because no Kama’aina was willing to answer my questions or teach me the things they love about their culture.  I leave here with bittersweet taste in my mouth, thankful for those few locals who treated me as a person, and sad about those who blame me and my family for the past.

My Passion: part one

Alright, so I have many passions.  I love to write.  I am working on several different fiction stories that never seem to get past chapter five…hmmm.   I love to sing, especially praise and worship, where I belt out my love and praise to God to the point that I am moved to my knees and to tears.  I love to dance; I suck at it, but I love to get down to some country music and some techno, esp if my husband can groove along with me.  I love to read, anything and everything, from non-fiction books on other cultures and history to fiction books about castles and dragons, elves and princesses. 

But my passion for photography, or in my case, picture taking because I have no training (and there IS a difference as any professional photographer can tell you!  ha) is one that I take with me everywhere I go.  I am always in awe of God’s creation, and while most pictures don’t capture the REAL essence of those awe inspiring sights, I still click away.

I lose hours of time going through my picture albums.  I can sometimes recall conversations, events that seemed minor at the time, but crucial in the long run, even smells, but most of all, I recall the EMOTIONS that I felt when I took that picture.  To me they are ‘living’ memories, in that when I see them, the emotions I felt when I took the picture come back as fresh as they did when I saw the view in person.  Plus, new emotions come along with it.  Sometimes I feel as though I would give anything to jump right into the picture and be apart of that landscape again.  Other times, I feel like I am looking into the snapshot of someone else’s life, and rejoice in the past that made the present the way that it is.

I don’t know how interested others may be in the journey of my life.  But I would love to share it.  So here are a few pictures with explanations and the emotions I felt/feel.  I hope you enjoy them!  and yeah, pick up your camera, snap a few shots, and next time you flip through your photo album, take a few minutes to ruminate on why you really took that picture!

This was taken on a road-trip from San Antonio to San Angelo, Texas several years ago.  My friend and I often went to San Angelo on the weekends to see friends who were still in training there, or to see civilian friends there. This particular sunset was just perfect!  The colors were so bright.  The sunrays were so well defined.  I remember leaning out the window and breathing in the country-side smells of cows and grass and dust, and looking at that sunset and KNOWING that God was happy that day!  I can’t look at this picture without longing for the next road trip, the next sunset!!!

This picture was taken on top of Kilauea, the active volcano on the island of Hawaii.  We were standing on the rim overlooking the caldera late in the evening.  Looking out across the caldera, I felt like I was viewing a glimpse of Earth as it might have appeared when He first started shaping and molding and adding things to it.  It is so desolate out in the crater.  No sign of life appears down there, but we all know that the volcano IS alive and growing and shrinking and going through its own lifecycles.  But up here on the side, where this single bush (I need to look up its name) is hanging preariously over the side, life is teeming!  There are birds flying overhead, there are bugs wizzing around our heads, and there are sounds of life in the grass on the side of the path.  The two different areas of ‘life’ vary so different, contrast so greatly… My breath was taken away.

To be continued:

Removing the drama.

True friends are few and far between.  As far as I have traveled, with all the places that I have been, the friends that will last a lifetime are still just as precious as a rare jewel.  Every place that I have moved to, it has been easy to meet new people, to make new aquaintances, and to add new friends that I hope will be friends that will stand the test of time, change, and difference in opinion. 

I usually trust everyone I meet until they do something to prove otherwise.  I am never hesitant about sharing about myself, in fact, my life is an open book.  I have made so many mistakes, and have had so many incredible experiences that I love to help prevent someone from making those mistakes, or share with them the journeys that I found so special.  But I am also non-confrontational.  I HATE arguing with people (different from debate.. I LOVE to debate), and I hate to think that I may have upset someone.  So depending on the person, I can be completely blunt or I will skirt certain issues.

I also tend to be very forgiving, and hopeful for a fresh start.  If someone gets close enough to me that I call them ‘friend,’ then I expect a certain amount of trust and respect to flow both ways.  And even though it is hard to work back to those things, once I have been distrusted and disrespected, I still like to think that maybe that person was having a bad day, or got bad advice from someone.  I like to think that between friends, ANY situation can be resolved in the right amount of time.

However, I have come to the realization that there are some friendships that are just not on the same page.  There are some people who will blatantly lie to me.  There are some that will do whatever it takes to take advantage of me.  There are some that will say that they trust me, but only ‘say’ that while it suits them.   And there are some that I will take in as family, and consider in my heart to be one of those who will be a ‘true’ friend, just to have them assume the worst about me when it suits their sensibilities, rather than look at my character and our history as friends, and use logic to sort it out.  Then are still those who resort to drama to get their way, calling names, guilt-tripping, playing the victim, playing on heart strings when something doesnt go their way.

Yesterday, in the middle of having an online conversation with a friend, who I had once considered a “true” friend, all of a sudden out comes the truth of her feelings towards me.  She and I had a falling out over a serious issue concerning our kids, and she went to a third party to talk about it rather than to talk to me, and then she chose to believe the worst.  Well, THAT was over a year ago.  Since then, we had been talking online for about five or six months.  Here I am thinking we are making progress to a healed relationship.  Now, I KNEW that we would never be close as we were.  I also KNEW that the trust we lost in each other would take longer than these few months to rebuild.  But obviously, she thought different.  She apparently thought that since we were talking online, that I should just be able to pop on over for coffee or playdates.  And when I told her that I wasnt ready to do that, I was told that I was uncaring, that I was ‘hurting’ her.

And in the midst of all the cry-baby drama, the truth came out.  While I thought she had changed her mind and no longer assumed the worst about that incident, I was wrong.  She STILL thinks that about me!!!  So what exactly did she expect me to say and do?  She really expected me to continue to talk to her and be friends with her, when I KNOW that she thinks such awful things about me?  If she were a complete stranger, or even an aquaintance, I seriously wouldn’t care one iota about her opinion, though I certainly wouldn’t be meeting her out!  So when I realized that this patch-up was just superficial, I decided to cut those ties.  So I deleted her from my friends list, from my email list, from my IM list… to which she called me childish. 

But I am done dealing with the drama.  No one needs people in their lives who bring them down.  I obviously was brought down by her yesterday when I realized the truth, and according to her, I brought her down every time I wrote her… Obviously, we dont need each other then.  So, yeah, its hard to say goodbye to another ‘promising’ friendship.  But there are always the good memories…. 

And may I be a bit wiser when I choose the ones I call Friend, and may the next person to call HER friend see HER true colors before they get dragged in too deep.

Cheesy Scalloped Potatoes

After trying several different recipes, I finally combined a couple, made some changes, and voila! 

Ingredients:

• 3 extra-large potatoes, peeled washed and sliced
• 1 and 1/2 cups milk
• 3 tablespoons flour
• garlic powder*
• black pepper*
• 1 cup shredded cheese
• 4 tablespoons low sodium margarine or no salt butter
• *I use a garlic-pepper blend that I found at Sam’s Club.

Preheat oven to 375 degrees.  Grease/spray your 2 quart casserole dish.

On stovetop, mix together margarine, milk, flour, and spices (seasoning to taste).  Heat on med-low heat until sauce starts to thicken, stirring constantly.  Once sauce thickens (not as thick as pudding, more like cake batter) remove from heat.

Layer half the sliced potatoes in your casserole dish.  Pour half the sauce on top.  Sprinkle half the cheese.  Layer the rest of the potatoes, sauce and cheese.  (if the sauce runs out, quickly mix together half a cup of milk and a tablespoon of margarine or butter together on med heat and pour that over the casserole.)

Cover and bake for 40 minutes.

Remove cover, and replace for another 20 minutes. (During this 20 minutes is when I make the meat and vegetables to go with the potatoes.)

Potatoes should be slightly brown on top and tender all the way to the bottom.

Tasty additions: 

chopped onions

fried and chopped bacon

ham/chicken pieces

Four years into being a mom… Life has only gotten better!

This was inspired by Vanessa and Kearsie.

A photo-diary of the four years since Stephen was born:

Holding Stephen in the NICU, where he had to stay for five days due to being born a month early.

Taking Stephen to Fredericksburg, Tx where Brett and I were married.

Seven months old, at Grandma and Grandpa’s in Florida.  (Brett was in Korea for a year)

Helping Grandma fold clothes!  Nine months old and already our little helper!

Soaking up the sun at Grammy’s house in Texas.

First Birthday (party at Aunt Cyndi’s)

Eating all by himself, First Birthday (party at Aunt Cassy’s)

First steps!!!  So PROUD!!!

Already a bookworm!!! (just moved to Hawaii)

Just one of my favorite pictures!!!

He started the tradition of greeting Daddy at the door every evening!!!

First Christmas in Hawaii!

MMM… Cake batter!!!

First hair cut!!! 

 Playing on his friend, Harry’s, new toy! (I think Brett had as much fun as Stephen did!)

First time he brought me flowers. (visitin my folks in Florida)

After his 2nd birthday, wearing his spiffy new shirt!

You can’t tell, but he was crying because I wouldn’t stop cleaning to read to him.

Goofin around with his pal!!!

Beautiful dirty boy!!! (chewing on a hotdog)

MMM… Funnel cakes!!!

Getting a closer look!

Running from the waves! 

Another one of my favorite!!!

Just turned three, so we put him in gymnastics!  Look at that smile!

Learning to play soccer.

Learning how to swim!!!

At the playground!!!

First time holding a hermit crab.  (His favorite thing to do when we go to the Aquarium!)

Getting so big!!!

Learning to fly a kite!!!  (and then flying it all by himself!)

Sharing a drink with Aunt Cassy!

Going to shake Pastor Jeff’s hand before Cassy’s wedding.  (My little Gentleman!)

Kisses for Aunt Cassy! (He was the ring bearer!)

Showing off his fish tattoo.  (drawn on by the lovely artists at Paradise Cove!)

Kisses for Mommy!!!

Reading with Uncle Bobby!

Being goofy!

Talking to a ladybug!

Turning four!!

What a cutie!!!!!

So in four years time, our lives have been that much fuller because of this little boy!  Here in pictures is the proof that kids only make life better.  Look where we have been!  Look what we have done!  Look at the laugher (and the tears) that we have had along the way!  Children are a blessing!  And we have had our lives BLESSED with this child that we can call our own! 

Time has flown by! 

I have cried over this child.

I have prayed over this child.

I have laughed with this child.

I have held and loved and been loved in return!

Four years are past… and a lifetime to go!

Thank God for the blessings of our children!

Know What You Are Calling Yourself!!!

As my closest friends know, being a Christian is who I am.  My whole life is based on my faith.  My faith is my shelter, my plumb-line for life, my encouragement, my strength. 

THAT is why Obama gets under my skin do deeply.  It just drives me CRAZY for anyone to call themselves something, but have NO idea what that means.  And yes, I have friends too, who call themselves Christians… merely because they are good people, make moral decisions, and went to church at some point.  I have learned not to argue with them, because then a whole slew of labels get thrown my way.  In their minds, for me to call them on their so-called faith, I have become close-minded, judgmental, and condescending.  They fail to see that I merely am trying to clarify the misnomer they have adopted. 

Frankly, it bothers me JUST as much when a teenage girl calls herself a woman.  What does SHE at 15 know about being a woman?  Has she bore a child?  Has she had to work 40+ hours a week to make ends meet?   Has she been THIS close to losing it all, including her mind, only to find that being a woman means that you can’t run home to Mommy, but must keep on keepin on?  Sorry, but very rarely is that true, and no amount of make-up, sexual encounters, and drama will suddenly zap her into being a woman.  It also bothers me when I meet a homosexual who is gay one day and swears this is true love and they were born this way, but then six months later.. whats this?  Dating (and being blissfully happy) with a member of the opposite sex???  Really.  Wake up, people!  We expect so much from everyone around us, and yet we expect nothing more from ourselves than the flimsy labels that we hide behind. 

Know what it is you call yourself!!!  Educate yourself before you claim it!  Then when you DO claim it, claim it proudly with the knowledge to back it up!

And since my biggest pet peeve lately has been the label of my faith, that is what I want to talk about.

In a previous blog, I added the actual definition of what a Christian is.  But here it is again for clarity:

“A Christian (listen) is a person who adheres to Christianity, a monotheistic^[1] religion centered on the life and teachings of Jesus Christ as presented in the New Testament^[2] and interpreted by Christians to have been prophesied in the Hebrew Bible/Old Testament^[3].”   http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Christian

So what does this mean?  How many of my own, good, and dear friends define their own Christian faith as this:  “Yeah, I am a Christian, but I don’t believe that any one faith is the right way, so long as you are a good person, and make the right decisions.”  

WHOA!!!! Wait just one minute!  Now look at the definition of a Christian.  See that word ‘monotheistic?’  That means ONE God, not ANY god.  Christianity has never embraced other gods and other faiths into its own.  Some of the people who use the label may, but Christianity does not.  True, Christianity has taken symbols from other faiths and used them as their own (IE, the Christmas tree) but the belief system has stayed the same!  Christians believe in The Bible to study about their faith.  Everything that Christianity is based on is within its covers, yet those same ‘Christians’ who don’t believe in one god, also don’t believe in The Bible.

And that just gets my blood boiling! 

Call me conservative. Call me old-fashioned.  I admit it.  I believe that my Faith is contained in that book that we call The Bible.  I also believe that you must take it in its entirety and weigh its message against the place you are in your life.  Obviously, some passages in the Old Testament are outdated, but look closely… those same out-dated passages were guidelines to the people on how to live healthy lives!  Most of those same guidelines would benefit us today!   I also believe that there is A LOT more to being a Christian than JUST reading The Bible.

Being a Christian is more than being a ‘good’ person.  Being a Christian is more than reading your Bible.  Being a Christian is more than believing that Christ existed (because even Satan knew Christ and is condemned.. James 2v 18-19)  Being a Christian is more then going to church.  It is deeper, it is a CHANGE deep within you that defies all logic.  When you have experienced that change, and can call Christ your Lord, THEN I will accept you as a fellow Christian.

(and for everyone saying that we are not to judge… I BEG to differ.  If we Christians did not hold our fellow Christians (and so-called Christians) accountable for their actions, for their lack of faith, then we may as well turn OUR backs on Him as well!  We are AS responsible for showing these friends and family the TRUTH of Christianity as anyone else.  The burden is on US to live above reproach, to share our Faith, to defend our Faith from getting blended and watered down, to pray ceaselessly, and wait patiently for His Hand.  We MUST stand up and be heard in order to make a difference, or one by one our very own children will read in their history books about a faith that lost its back-bone and wonder what Christianity was all about)

Now, I am not saying that I have a right to condemn you if you aren’t a Christian.  Yes, according to my Faith, anyone that is not a Christian will face judgment.  And THAT judgment SHOULD be left to God.  I do not condemn Muslims for their faith, or the Hindus, or any other religion.  I DO condemn anyone that uses the label of Christianity for thier own purposes or just because they are too lazy to really make a decision one way or the other. 

If you don’t want to be a Christian, and simply call yourself one to get your family off your back, please grow a pair, grow up, and be honest about it!  If you were raised in church, but have no clue what it means to be a Christian, please get online and research it.  Open the Bible you were given for graduation.  Talk to someone you trust.  LEARN about your Faith!!!

I am FAR from perfect, but I AM forgiven!

The History of Me(part 3)

(disclaimer:  okay, I am writing my parents love story from MY memory of what they have told me, so some of it is bound to be a bit off… BUT the most fantastic parts of this love story are true.  This is the love story that made me wish for my own Prince Charming, not Cinderella or Sleeping Beauty.) 

Well.. maybe it wasn’t love at first sight for my Dad.  In fact, he was horribly embarrassed at having been woken up by a cute chick while he had been wearing nothing but his underpants.  OOPS!  He was so incredibly embarrassed that when he went downstairs to grab a bite to eat before leaving, he wasn’t able to look at my Mom or her sisters in the face.  He took off in such a rush that my Mom was sure he hated her.

That was until the next day!  haha

The next afternoon, my Dad showed up at the house where my Mom was staying and asked their Aunt if he could take them all to the beach (Lake Erie).  As they were all piling into his car, my Mom deviously shoved her cousin Karin out of the way, so that she could sit in the middle and next to my Dad.  Then on the drive she spent the entire time babbling about how she didn’t know how to swim and would he teach her, etc etc (all of which had to be translated by Karin who understood and spoke German, while my Dad spoke only very broken German, and no Polish!!!)  Poor Karin!  I wonder what she must have thought about this young girl monopolizing all the time with HER best friend!!!  But she was a good sport and humored my Mom.  The day at the beach must have been successful for my Mom, because the next four days, my Dad somehow had the time off and used that time to date my Mom.

By the end of the week, he asked her to marry him (again through translation!)  Now what moved my Dad’s heart for this young woman, even he remains MUM.  Whenever I ask him, he gets this little smile on his face, and his whole attitude lights up, and you can see that he is thinking back, then he replies: “Wouldn’t YOU like to know?”   ARGH!!!  But whatever it was, it was good, so he proposed!

Now, my Mom, bless her heart, LOVES some drama!  So when my Dad proposed, her immediate answer was ‘no.’  She didn’t really mean that she didn’t want to marry him.  She meant that she was going to sleep on it and tell him the next day.  (I imagine she probably said ALL of that, but because it was in German and the ONLY word that my Dad could understand was ‘nine’ which means ‘no’ in German, he probably assumed that the rest of her answer was the reason why she wouldn’t marry him.)  In complete desperation, my Dad went to his cousin (I don’t know which one) and asked him to speak to my Mom on my Dad’s behalf.  Of course, when talking to my Mom, this cousin discovered the truth of my Mom’s answer and it turned into a humorous affair where my Mom finally relented her honest answer, ‘yes.’

Still, as happy as these two were, there were things working against them:

My Mom’s green card, which was to expire in a few days.

My Dad’s family which disapproved because he was so soon out of a divorce, and because my Mom was so young.

But my Mom’s Uncle Joshie (Joe) took it upon himself to get the paperwork done so that my Mom and her sisters could stay an additional three weeks.  Then on August 13th, down at the local courthouse, my Mom and her Prince Charming, became Man and Wife.  It was on this date that the bombshell fell!  I guess one of them should have put two and two together, but somehow, this caught them by surprise.  Turns out, the Aunt and Uncle that my Mom was visiting were RELATED to my Dad’s family!!  Yup.  My Mom’s Aunt was my Dad’s Mom’s sister, making my parents second cousins!!!  (let the jokes start!!! haha)  Back in 1948, when my Dad’s family came to the U.S.A., they brought with them my Dad’s Grandfather and Grandmother on his Mom’s side.  His Grandfather left behind in what had become Poland, his sister and her family.  And somehow, none of my Dad’s family thought to bring that up. (Maybe they assumed that my Dad knew?)  Anyway, at that time, marriages between second cousins were frowned on, but allowed.  So … yeah…

After the shock of the family tree being revealed in court, my parents still had a church wedding on the 25th of August.  

From that point on…. Well… Lets see: a young immigrant from Poland that can’t speak English and a newly divorced/remarried young man moving onto a farm in the middle of nowhere to begin their lives together.  Great makings for more stories right?  HAHA  You have NO IDEA!!! lol 

But I think I will save THOSE stories for my kiddo and his kiddos. 

Obama: my research so far.

Having already beat the dead horse, here I go again.  (also,  another blog site, SHUT down SIX websites that were in opposition of Obama.  Beware censorship from Obama’s supporters, even and ESPECIALLY his online and corporate supporters.  While a day later, all thise sites were reinstates, only ONE was issued an apology, but ALL those bloggers are now on wordpress.com.  As I find them again in my research, I will post them on here)

I am NOT politically correct, and WILL NOT APOLOGIZE for that.

Obama is NOT a Christian, by his own definition.

“I’m rooted in the Christian tradition,” said Obama. He then adds: “I believe there are many paths to the same place, and that is a belief that there is a higher power, a belief that we are connected as a people.”(http://www.humanevents.com/article.php?id=26957&page=1)

Christians are: a person who adheres to Christianity, a monotheistic^[1] religion centered on the life and teachings of Jesus Christ as presented in the New Testament^[2] and interpreted by Christians to have been prophesied in the Hebrew Bible/Old Testament^[3].(http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Christian)

Obama’s self-acclaimed faith is actually universalism which is a religion and theology that generally holds all persons and creatures are related to God or the divine and will be reconciled to God. (and should NOT be confused with Christianity!) ( http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Universalism)

Obama was born into a Muslim family, and IS considered by his Muslim family to still be Muslim.  And since he so notoriously threw his ‘white’ grandmother under the bus, calling her a ‘typical white woman’ I can certainly understand all the ‘racial’ issues that surround my stance against him.  (Just makes sense that those practicing racism should shout it out at others!)

He intends to cut back on our Defense budgets and programs.  Do you military people really think he will stop with the programs he mentioned in his speech?  Really?  Oh wait!  I can see it now.  Thousands of military families (who ALL voted for Obama because he ‘said’ that he would pull our troops out of Iraq, though he ALSO said he would turn around and send them to AFGHANISTAN… did you all miss that part?!?!) all whining the blues because now we have to apply for WIC, Food Stamps, and supplemental health because our BAH and BAS doesn’t match inflation.  Our housing projects will suffer, forcing more families off base.  Our bases will be threated with closure AGAIN!  and yet, we will still be fighting in the Middle East, only with fewer benefits and less pay. (http://www.gop.com/images/research/053008Research2.pdf) (and here are some that a friend found: http://www.newsmax.com/smith/barack_obama/2008/06/10/103236.html, http://www.strategypage.com/htmw/htlead/articles/20080609.aspx)

He has already turned the tables, he has lied to us, he has hemed-and-hawed his way through difficult questions.  He HAS NOT defined the change he inspires us to believe in.  He has a silver tongue, but nothing to stand on.  He has NO military experience to HELP our country at war.  He has VERY little political experience (even compared to Clinton).  He let himself be part of a “church” and reverend that spouts messages of intolerance and hate.  And don’t even get me started on his policies!!!

The more I see him, the more I hear him, the less I trust him.  If that, my friends, makes me ‘RACIST’ then so be it.

But just for clarity sake.. the definition of racism if you please:

According to the United Nations Convention on the Elimination of All Forms of Racial Discrimination,

the term “racial discrimination” shall mean any distinction, exclusion, restriction or preference based on race, colour, descent, or national or ethnic origin which has the purpose or effect of nullifying or impairing the recognition, enjoyment or exercise, on an equal footing, of human rights and fundamental freedoms in the political, economic, social, cultural or any other field of public life. ‘^[1]
(http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Racism)

((This was previously posted on my myspace page))

Easy Mex Bake

Ingredients:

1 lb ground meat- cooked, seasoned,  and drained           2 cups white rice (cooked and drained)

4 cups crushed tostitos                                                      2 cups cheese (shredded or cut in small cubes)

1 can diced tomatoes- drained                                           1 can green chilis

I can chili beans                                                                  garlic pepper (add to taste)                            

mexican seasoning (add to taste)

sour cream, salsa, and guacamole for toppings

Directions:

Preheat oven to 350 degrees.

Spray 13x9x2 baking dish with non-stick spray.

Combine tomatoes, rice, and meat in large bowl; mix well.  Add seasoning to taste.

Spread crushed tostitos evenly on bottom of baking dish.

Layer half the cheese on top of the tostitos, and spread half the beans on top of the cheese.

Spread rice-meat mixture evenly on top of cheese and beans.

Spread the rest of the beans and cheese on top.

Bake uncovered for 15 to 20 minutes.

Let cool for five minutes then serve topped with sour cream, salsa, and guacamole.

(This is also really good with shredded chicken, or with no meat at all)  I got this off the side of a box somewhere and made some ‘improvements’.  Enjoy!

The History of Me (part two)

So who was that little elvish woman at the foot of my Father’s bed?  Okay, so you guessed it.. She was my Mother.  Lets go back a bit:

Date: April 1954

Place: Southern Poland (part of which used to be Germany)

Born the second child of four, my Mother, Lilli G Jede (not to be confused with Jedi… though how cool would that be?!?), was raised in a German household that was forced to keep their heritage secret.  Apparently, after World War II, hate crimes still occurred, but by this time, they occurred against Germans.  Many Germans who had households, farms, and land were forced to leave by threat of persecution and violence by the Poles who now moved into that area.   My Mother’s family remained, staying to themselves, making sure to never cause a stir, to never bring attention to themselves.  The children were taught Polish and Russian, and only ever spoke German within the privacy of their home.

My Mother’s memories of Poland are very sad.  Hugely depressing.  By her own admission, due to the secrecy, that she wasn’t sure was completely necessary, especially as she got older, she learned that there was no one she could trust.  Learning to be suspicious of everyone, even family, she grew up fearful of her surroundings, and walked through life as though a ‘little black rain cloud’ were haunting her every move.

My Mother, always a little wisp of a woman, was the same a child and as a teenager.  Her preconceived notions of everyone around her left her wanting more.  Around the time she hit her teens, she started dreaming horribly realistic dreams.  Dreams of being dogged all the time by a shadow she couldn’t identify.  But as the dream recurred and expanded, she started dreaming of hope.  Hope of jumping up in the clouds and away from the shadow.  Hope of being carried away to sunshine while the shadow was left far below and far behind.  This dream occurred so often and so vividly, that my mother still repeats it to us today with amazing clarity.  Little did she know that this dream was actually about to come true.

When my mother turned 19, one of her sisters was invited to America to visit with some relatives (who had hopes of marrying her to one of their sons).  My grandparents refused to allow my Aunt to travel alone, so they sent all three sisters.  Knowing that she was only going as a babysitter, to keep her two little sisters in line, my Mother was resentful at first.  She had never left her small village, and now she was going to leave not just her village, but her country?  her continent?  To say she was terrified is probably a gross understatement.  But go she did.

Two weeks in America!  No doubt her sisters were beside themselves with excitement! 

So in July 1973, my Mother and her sisters landed in Cleveland.  There they were met by an Aunt and Uncle whom they had never met.  They traveled around briefly, met more family, and were really enjoying themselves.   One day, while they were visiting with their Aunt’s friend, Leonie, my mother was asked to go wake up Leonie’s son, who had to get ready for work.  While my mother may have been suspicious of everyone, she was never shy!  So up she went… and that is where we left off.

Now, to hear the story from my Dad vs from my Mom, we get slightly different tales.  haha  But suffice it to say that the 6 ’2″  ’mountain man’ took my Mama’s breath away, and that little 5’4″ elfin creature stole my Daddy’s heart.

BUT!!!  They only had ONE week together!  So while they determined to spend as much time together as they could, it appeared that they would soon be separated and my Mom would soon be back on her way to Poland.

to be continued…..

(For anyone from Germany and Poland TODAY, please keep this in mind:  The late 40′s, 50′s, 60′s, and 70′s especially in Southern Poland were still hard on anyone who was originally from Germany.  In my family’s case, it was even harder because during World War II, some of my family was in hiding from the Nazi’s because they were in fact Jewish.  My Opa in Poland has the original and faux documents showing the Jewish name of my Great-grandfather and the name he had it illegally changed to in an effort to keep from getting rounded up and taken to a concentration camp.  However, later on he was STILL drafted into the German Army, which forced him to live in hiding in the attic of the farmhouse until a couple years after the war was over, ever living in fear of being ratted out by the neighbors or found by the Gestappo.  So, yes, even while my Mom was a child and growing up in Southern Poland, she still was surrounded by secrecy, suspicion, and distrust.)

Round Braided Towel Rug

I found this idea in a newspaper years ago when I was living in San Antonio.  I used old towels that I didn’t want anymore, or towels that I found on sale at places like BigLots and Ross.  I noticed that the heavier the towel, the better the rug.  These are great rugs for the laundry room, kid’s bath, and make thoughtful gifts.  They are easy to clean, just toss em in the wash, and are perfect for next to the tub!

What you need:

• several towels of equal length (any colors will do, mix and match to the decor of your bathroom)
• scissors
• thread and needle
• clothes pin

Cut the towels lengthwise in two inch strips (and wash and dry thembefore starting to remove all the fuzzies).

Laying three strips side by side, fold each strip in half, and sew one end of the three together.

Braid the strip together starting at the sewn end; when you get to the bottom, use the clothes pin to hold it together.

Take your next three strips and sew them to the bottom of the braided strand.  Be careful not to overlap too much or you will have a large bump in your rug.

When your braid is several yards long, clamp the very end together (do not sew it until you are sure your rug is the desired size)

Take the top of your braided strand (the sewn end), fold it in on itself two inches deep and sew it down.

Wrap the rest of the braid around, sewing it to itself every two inches, until you reach your desired size.

Sew the end together first, and then sew it to the rug.

Clip any strings.  Then I suggest running it through the cold cycle at least once more to remove any more loose fuzzies.

Variations:

Rectangle or Square:  Sew the end of your braid, braid it for the length that you want your rug to be, then sew that end as well.  Make several braids in this fashion, laying them side by side until you get the width you desire.  Once all your braids are made, sew them together.  A nice way to finish the ends is with a matching color ribbon, that you can easily sew around the edges.

Oval:  Sew a couple braided strips together as though making a rectangle rug.  Then take a braided strip several yards long as though making a round rug and sew one end to those two braided strips.  Sewing every two inches, wrap it around and around until you get your desired size.

The history of me. (part one)

The best part of some people’s lives are at the beginning aka birth.  Mine, I think starts before I was born.  Before my parents even met.  Let’s go way back.  March 1944 will do.

Date: March 1944

Place: somewhere Germany

Event: birth of Gary W.D. Egler… aka Daddy

Yes, in the midst of the raging war in Europe, my Grandparents somehow found the time to get pregnant!  So, there in war-torn Germany, my Father was born to a man who was forced to serve under a tyrant and a woman who prayed daily that her husband would survive unscathed.

Now, I am no history buff, though I am obsessed with biographies of anyone who lived, survived, or died during The Holocaust.  I don’t care if they were Jewish, Polish, German, Russian, American, British… so many were affected in good and bad ways.. so many examples of the evil side of man vs the incredible heart of man.   I hope to never forget that my family was apart of that time of nightmare, and that they came through it and survived. (My Grandmother had incredible, mortifying stories of atrocities that she witnessed, but also of the courage and love that abounded despite those atrocities… I really should have written them down… sigh)

After the war, my Father, his little brother, and his parents came to America.  A new life.  A new beginning.  A clean slate!  And wonder of wonders, even though America has just finished putting Germany in it’s place, this newly immigrated family was taken in and accepted!  I don’t know the details, but I know that those first few years were a fascinating blur for my Father.

Alas, in 1948, tragedy struck.  Driving home one night, with my Father and his little brother in the car, my Grandfather got into an car accident.  My Grandfather didn’t survive, but my Uncle survived with minimal injury, and my father has a tell-tale scar on his forehead that forever reminds him of that terrible night.  Now, as a single mother, my Grandmother had no choice but to send her boys to family out in the country.   There my Father grew up until his mid teens.  He learned about country living, farm life, dependence on the earth, the faithfulness of the ground if you take care of it.  He learned to become skilled at all arts, not just what he thought he would be best at, so he became a jack-of-all trades.  He learned that schooling and education would give him the tools, but it was his own two hands that would make him successful.

In his teens, his mother came for him and his brother.  Back to Cleveland they went.  And there my Father met his first wife, his high school sweetheart.  Married right out of high school, my Father decided to pursue an apprenticeship rather than go to college.  After all, he would get paid while apprenticing, which put food on the table, while going to college definitely would not.  So he went to work for Ford Motor Company, while his wife went to school to be a nurse.  Ten years later, and two beautiful daughters later, his wife decided that he wasn’t able to make enough money to give her the life she wanted (there is a LONG drawn out story that I am sure I don’t have all the facts for).  So they divorced.

SO!  What now?

My Father, in 1973, moved back in with his mother.  He was still working at Ford, was now a Floor Supervisor, and was starting child support for two daughters that he could barely see.  No doubt, he felt like his world was falling out from under his feet.  And no doubt, my very vocal Grandmother gave him no end of grief over losing his wife (sigh)  But he dove into his work and life began to just sidle by.

Until late that summer… and WHAM!

While taking a nap before his midnight shift, my father was roused from sleep by a strange, elfish, young woman whom he had never seen before!  Why she was there, who she was, was a complete mystery to him as he was waking up, but one thing was certain: it was instantaneous!!!  Love at first sight!!!

to be continued…….