Any of the handful of you who ever read those silly surveys that I fill out, may have picked up on the fact that I color my hair because I am quickly going grey.  Well, I USED to color my hair anyway.

I have been coloring my hair since I was a late teen.  First it was adding blonde streaks to add to that sun-kissed look so famous from teens in Florida.  Then when I was in college I started sampling with other colors, deep browns, dark reds, and even tried blonde (though that turned my hair brazen orange mostly!)

Then I cut my hair short just before joining the Air Force, and I discovered that I had a lot more then just a few grey hairs.  Along the sides behind my ears where thick wiry white hairs, some very long, and some just long enough to stick straight up!  So the coloring and the plucking became a regular routine. 

It never crossed my mind that I was playing into the vanity that I have been seduced into believing was simply taking care of myself.  Not until I came to know at least a dozen women who have taken this vanity to whole new levels.  What used to be expensive procedures that only the very well-to-do could afford, is now common place among women everywhere.  Botox, breast enhancements, tummy tucks, tattooed make-up, spa days, and the list goes on and on!  All these ways for women to turn back time, to turn back the effects of child-bearing, or simply of age, and its always hidden behind the outward beliefs that we are doing this to keep our husbands attracted, or to GET someone attracted, or behind the belief that growing old and showing signs of aging is somehow unbecoming.  Not to mention the new idea going around that women (esp stay-at-home moms) MUST take some time for themselves whether it be to shop, or spa, or whatever.  (another thought: since when is giving of myself for my family a BAD thing? and why isnt that ever considered taking time for myself?  Am I to assume that other moms and women find no enjoyment in family affairs?  okay.. where was I?)

But what drives this mentality?  I even work for a company that sells spa products, facials, and cosmetics?  So why did I choose this company when I am starting to feel so strongly against all this superficial vanity?  Partly, because like all women, I LOVE feeling beautiful!  I LOVE looking in the mirror and seeing something that I feel I can be proud of physically.  I LOVE getting compliments from family and friends, and I LOVE the looks I get from my husband.  And THIS particular company is different in that I teach women how to ENHANCE their beauty.  There is nothing about covering it up, there is nothing about making the woman looking in the mirror look like someone completely different.  This is about teaching women to respect themselves, that beauty is from within.  This is about teaching women that ‘me-time’ can be enjoyed at home and within reasonable budgets.  This is about teaching women that proper skin care and healthy habits will enhance the aging process, not to reverse, not even to slow it down.

So anyway, I had a revelation this last weekend.  I was brushing out my hair, which I have been trying to grow out for some time now.  I was straightening it out for a night out.  As I was moving my head from side to side, and brushing it this way and that, I realized that I haven’t colored my hair in over three months!  And as I was just beginning to think about getting another box of color, I looked at my hair, and I wondered where all those greys came from.  What started them to appear?  And why am I really trying to hide them?  The more I thought about it, the more silly I felt. 

By the time I got finished fixing my hair, I realized that I was actually kinda proud of those grey hairs!  Yes, I am only 30 years old, and yes, I have more gray hair them most 40 year old women.  But just like it took me years to get used to my face, to grow to appreciate it for what it is, and not what it might be, it has finally hit me, that my hair is another extension of who I am.  My self-confidence comes from within.  I never wore make-up to make me prettier, though I went through periods where the amount of make-up I wore certainly distracted people from the real me.  So why do I do this to my hair?  I already have no interest in keeping people around me who can’t accept me for who I am on the inside, so why this particular vanity?  And why has it taken me so long to see the truth of it?

So for now at least, I think I will keep my grey and unruly hair.  Let’s see what a couple months of it growing out will reveal.  Let’s see how aging gracefully with my grey hairs, my post-pregnancy boobs, my less then firm abs might feel, rather than trying to hide it and be ashamed of it!

(I am NOT advocating letting myself or yourself fall into a frame of mind that says that there is nothing we can do to improve on our health and our bodies… I AM trying to say that self-confidence should come from within, NOT from the appearance of our face, bodies, or in my case, hair)